Of Authorities, Bureaus and Commissions

 

  

  Of Authorities, Bureaus and Commissions

 

 

Naeem Sadiq

 

 

Dedicated to
the insightful, farsighted, gentle, sincere, and sane
Zahid Abdullah,
who, though once a Complaints Commissioner himself,
embodied none of the attributes,
of the one portrayed in this tale.

 

 

 

Chapter 1: The dividends of loyalty

 

It was 11a.m. in the morning. The glistening black Toyota Fortuner came to a noiseless halt in the porch. As if seated on a Rafale’s ejection seat, the driver made a conspicuously agile exit to separate himself from the vehicle and stepped back to open the Fortuner’s door.  Already perched at a strategic spot, a little distance away, an Orderly, whose sole function in life was to carry the boss’s briefcase, simultaneously leapt forward.  The lone passenger of this disproportionately immodest four-wheeler took a final deep puff of the La Gloria Cubana cigar and placed one foot on the floor of a driveway studded with Envicrete tiles. Having performed this favour to mankind, he walked towards his office, with the swagger of an entitled ruler. Not much could be said about the health benefits of this walk, as the office was just about 20 steps away from the place where the Fortuner had come to a stop.  A smartly dressed Office Assistant could be seen holding the office door ajar, awaiting to greet the boss and facilitate his effortless entry.   The Orderly carrying the briefcase, deeply conscious of private spaces, walked a few steps behind.  Mounted at the office entrance, was a large and well-polished brass plaque, prominently etched with the words ‘Complaint Commissioner’.

 

The Complaint Commissioner headed straight for his large leather seat, which had already been slightly pushed back by yet another Assistant, for the boss to slide in.  As soon as the Complaint Commissioner positioned himself between the table and the chair, and before he dropped his esteemed posterior, the chair was appropriately nudged forward to avoid a mishap.  The Orderly carrying the briefcase gently placed it on the left side-table and stood respectfully a few feet away for further instructions. The Complaint Commissioner was now firmly planted on his seat.  He began sipping his first coffee of the day, casually flipping through the headlines of several newspapers — all officially subscribed to broaden his worldview.

 

 

Rehmat Ali, the Honourable Complaint Commissioner, in his early sixties, was marking time in the final year of his 3-year term of office. He had retired from the highest grade in bureaucracy after 38 years of unblemished civil service.  Two simple and straightforward principles formed the core of his work ethics. Unflinching loyalty to the boss and not changing anything that had not been changed earlier.  He found this to be the most effective recipe for success. The results were obvious. Rehmat Ali was chosen for the coveted assignment as the nation’s top Complaint Commissioner, a uniquely powerful position, in which he could investigate any complaint against any government official.  Often referred to as ‘CC’, he enjoyed the ambiguity of these initials – also used for copying government letters to numerous unconcerned officials.

 

The phone bell rang.  It must be something important.  All phones were attended by a Senior Private Secretary, who was the ultimate arbitrator of deciding if the call should be attended by the CC or simply disposed off by one of the standard excuses – ‘not in office’, ‘busy in a meeting’, etc.  Only 5% calls made it to the CC.

“Sir, it is Begum Sahiba for you”.

“Okay. Put her online”.

The Secretary clicked the button to put Rehmat Ali’s wife Nuzhat on direct line.

Nuzhat: “Hello, RA dear, I hope you remember”.  RA was how Rehmat Ali was affectionately addressed by his wife.

RA: “Remember what Nuz?”

Nuzhat: “Oh God, you promised, the first thing you will do after reaching the office is to call up the Embassy for Bina’s study visa and to speak to some one in the education department for Ahmed’s results. You know he has failed for the second time.”

RA: “Yes, Yes. I do remember, but I have been choked with mountains of work since morning. Its lunch time now and I will see if I can squeeze some time in the second half.”

Nuzhat: “Ok Bye, but please give your self some respite and breather from the tread mill of unending work.”

 

 

Chapter 2:  The double dipping trio

 

The CC placed the receiver down, rose from his chair, adjusted his tie, jacket, and trousers, and strode out to the porch, where the driver had already positioned the Fortuner – engine idling and AC at full blast. No words were needed, as the driver was well familiar with the boss’s daily routine.  The Fortuner was on its way to the Club, where the CC routinely had lunch with two other gentlemen – one, a Commissioner for Majority Rights and the other a Commissioner for Minority Rights.  All three had much in common. All three were well-connected and unscrupulously ambitious.  All three enjoyed their post-retirement low-stress tenures that provided phenomenal salaries and required no effort.  All three were officially entitled to just one vehicle, yet each maintained two Toyota Fortuners – one for personal use and the other for the family. All three were the beneficiaries of ‘double dipping’ – simultaneously drawing pensions from their old jobs and the pay and perks of the new one. Who said that the Lord reserved his blessings for the life hereafter only?

 

The daily lunch at the club was the day’s crowning event for the trio. It provided a relaxing opportunity to be with friends of one’s own status, to learn from each other, discuss intellectual matters and be updated on the latest political moorings.  The food was excellent, and the waiters well understood the cost of making a mistake.  What truly sweetened the deal was the remarkably low cost of the food, made possible by the club’s generous government patronage. The annual rent of the club was entirely waived – as if to ensure affordable meals for the needy and the homeless.

 

Chapter 3.  The 18-Hole Golf theory

 

The trio had excelled in their own unique styles of governance.  The CC had dedicated his entire life to extracting most benefits by doing least work.  He had named it the 18-Hole Golf theory of Excellence. While the trio had been told about this theory in bits and pieces, it was felt that the time was ripe for the theory to be presented to the rest of the world as a revolutionary ‘governance improvement’ technique.  It was collectively agreed to book the club auditorium and hold a seminar to present the 18-Hole Golf theory to the public at large.   Invitees were carefully selected for their designations and influence. The press and TV Channels were invited in large numbers to cover the event.  Elaborate arrangements for high tea were made from the CCs PR budget.  Himself, the key-note speaker, the CC (our local equivalent of Steve Jobs), stood up amidst loud applause and thus explained his 18-Hole Golf theory:

 

“Honourable Ministers, Secretaries, Commissioners, Chairmen, Managing Directors, Director Generals, members of media, Ladies and Gentlemen. I thank you for your gracious presence at this important scientific session.  It is people like you who inspired me to design this AI driven engine of efficiency. The system we propose today is a major breakthrough in technology, ideas and imagination. Indeed, it is a proud day for the entire nation.   (The audience bursts into a spontaneous, unrestrained applause.)   As the details are too scientific and complex, please permit me to explain my 18-Hole Golf theory and its essentials.  Management is much like an 18-hole golf course – with diagonally opposite intentions.  While a golfer is required to putt every hole, a manager on the contrary, must create holes, (which some mistakenly consider as obstacles), that would send   an applicant reeling back to square one”.  CC delivered the sentence using animated quote-unquote signs with both hands.   “Here is how the 18-hole golf theory works”, continued the Commissioner. “Take an A4 size paper. Print your organisation’s name and address on the top. In the next line write the topic INADMISSABILITY OF APPEAL – in bold capital letters. Begin the letter by saying upfront – ‘Note that your appeal is inadmissible for the following reason (s)’.   Now draw 18 small holes in the left column and then print, against each hole, one of the following ‘impossible to comply’ conditions. Here is a sample of how the18-hole golf course would look like.”   The CC showed the following slide on the screen for everyone to easily grasp how holes can be easily built into any management system.

 

O        The appeal does not contain full name of the applicant and his father.

O        As per Act 2010 Article 3C, the appeal was not made between 23 and 27 days of the original complaint.

O        The appeal does not give evidence if the applicant and his father held the legal citizenship status at the time 

           of writing this application.

O        Required by Rule 15(7) an attested ‘no litigation’ certificate has not been provided.

O        The applicant provides no affidavit that he is still alive. Rule 13 (5)

O        The application is not submitted on the prescribed Performa and the documents provided are not attested.  

O        The appeal is inadmissible, as The Public Body’s name has been changed.

O        The Appeal was sent through an attorney, but the Attorney’s tax certificate has not been provided.

O        The subject matter does meet the definition of appeal vide Rule 21(b) and vide 23 (d).

 

The CC carried the audience through all 18 holes and then in a voice choked with emotions completed his speech with the following words.

 

“Once the document with 18 Holes and their ‘impossible to comply’ conditions is ready, write a statement at the bottom, ‘By the Order of this Office’ and make a few thousand photocopies of this document. Depute an LDC to manage and dispose all incoming appeals by randomly crossing any one of the 18 hoes and scribble some wild alphabets at the bottom, ensuring no traceability to a human or any other animal in the vicinity. It is not important as to which hole is crossed.  What is important is that at least one hole must be crossed.  This is enough to send the applicant reeling back to ground zero.  We now have an automated process where even an LDC can dispose off cases by randomly crossing any of the 18 holes.  All such returned applications can then be declared as ‘Successfully Resolved Cases, without you ever lifting your little finger.”

 

The speech concluded with a resounding applause.  The crowd gave a standing ovation. Hordes of cameramen and reporters encircled our indigenous scientist.  The next day’s newspaper headlines proclaimed: “Nation Embraces the Age of AI.'”

 

 

 

Chapter 4. The after-lunch fiasco

 

The CC was all set to spend the rest of the day on the tasks assigned by his caring but nagging spouse.  As always, the lunch took 2 hours, and it was already 3 pm by the time CC returned to his office. He summoned his senior private secretary to give instructions on manoeuvring the tasks held up at the embassy and the education department.  But even before he could utter his first sentence, there was a gentle knock at the door. A well-dressed pleasant gentleman stepped in, carrying a bunch of papers.  “Is that something urgent” was the first instinctive knee-jerk response of the CC.

“Well Sir, I should think so. I want to discuss with you, a few very important issues that could revolutionise not just this department, but the entire country.”  CC thought it was fashionable to use the word AI, as often as possible in one’s conversation. The CC had 2 binary options.  To dismiss the young, idealist Grade-17 officer with a vague “come back later” for discussing his half-baked ideas, or to instruct the Senior Private Secretary to leave them alone till summoned again.

 

It took less than a few seconds for the CC to make up his mind.   The Secretary was quietly dismissed, and the young officer gestured to have a seat.  After all, Khurram Junejo was the scion of the most influential minister in the Federal Cabinet.

 

Khurram Junejo pulled a chair and sat down for a one-on-one conversation with the boss. CC decided to set the tone and the pace of the meeting, “Khurram, please come straight to the point.  We have just about 10 to 15 more minutes as I am set to tee-off with my golf buddies at 4:15 sharp”.

 

“Sure, Sir and thank you for giving me time to discuss a subject that could trigger a sea change transformation in our organisation. Let me come

straight to my first point. The proposals relating to the 18-Hole Golf Theory and claims of our nation moving into AI era, presented in the seminar were

absolutely ill-founded, incorrect and misleading.  In fact, the entire seminar on the 18-Hole Golf theory was nothing but a plethora of distractive, delaying and decadent tricks to crush the complaints of the ordinary

 

citizens.  The 18 holes were nothing but contraptions, or should I say booby traps, that had no purpose beyond demanding additional worthless papers.  Sir, what was presented in that seminar was not Artificial Intelligence – it was Atrocious Ignorance. Instead, you may kindly consider my suggestion for a highly simplified and efficient zero-hole process that I could put up for your perusal.”

 

Khurram Junejo could sense a change in the CC’s facial expressions. His jaws clenching, eyes twitching and lines appearing across his forehead – subtle signs of visible hostility and suppressed anger. Khurram Junejo maintained his cool and proceeded, “Sir, I do realise you are short on time, so today I will only give you a summary of my proposals”.

 

Unable to tolerate this direct frontal affront, the CC quickly interrupted,

“Enough of that Khurram.  You clearly do not understand the basics of good governance.   I have listened to your first half-baked proposal and can easily guess what the others might look like.  I suggest we leave the rest of the discussion for another time.  I am anyway not too well this afternoon and need to rush home.”

 

CC had become less angry, but his face looked yellow as that of a jaundiced patient.

 

CC rang a bell to call the Secretary.  “Please inform my golf buddies that I will not be able to join them today “. He rose from his chair and stepped out of the office, the orderly with the briefcase, dutifully trailing a few paces behind.

 

Before the week was out, the CC-Khurram row had become the most sensational gossip echoing through the Secretariat’s corridors.

 

 

Chapter 5.  Apple, Beetroot, Carrot

 

CC’s status and image as a management guru had experienced an exponential growth since his discovery of the 18-hole golf theory.  Much of his day was now devoted to receiving and entertaining visitors who came from far and wide to pay homage with a hope of absorbing a word or two of wisdom.  CC also spoke to his counterparts in many countries about his latest 18-hole management theory. No wonder he received an average of 12 invitations per year for visits and talks in foreign capitals. Despite her many social engagements, Nuzhat always found time to accompany her husband on these fully paid foreign tours. After all they were collectively showcasing the progressive and liberal image of their country. Thus, CC who already spent very little time in performing anything called ‘work’, was now fulltime involved in doing ‘nothing’.

 

CC was a member of numerous high level advisory boards.  He was a strong advocate for launching new and progressive schemes, orchestrating grand events and unleashing emotionally charged rhetoric to launch symbolic “committees” or “emergencies”.   The all-time favourite “educational emergency” had been launched no fewer than 17 times in 12 years — each emergency pushing a few more million children from schools to child labour.   Equally brilliant results were obtained by ‘committees’ formed to promote ‘austerity’, ‘right sizing’ and ‘expenditure reduction’.   However, no scheme could rival the creation of numerous Authorities, Bureaus and Commissions or ABC’s as they were popularly known. Their number had already swelled to 128 and was constantly growing.

 

The ABCs are much like the famous ABC juice – a trendy blend of apple, beetroot, and carrot peddled by overpriced, uptight snooty restaurants at a cost that far outweighs the nutrition.   There was enough scientific evidence to suggest that creating Authorities, Bureaus and Commissions provided identical high cost and low nutrition benefits to the government. To begin with, ABCs create lucrative positions for retired officials, political allies, loyal supporters, friends and relatives – a convenient form of

 

patronage.  They provided an impression that the government was addressing a problem – specially when it had no intention of doing so.  Being high-sounding statutory bodies, citizens found it difficult to challenge or criticise the Authorities, Bureaus and Commissions.  The frequent seminars, press conferences and media interviews held by ABCs helped the government in projecting a progressive image abroad and suppressing domestic pressure.

 

Fully convinced that more ABCs were indeed the only solution to every problem, it was no surprise that the CC suggested, and the government readily agreed to establish an over-arching Supra Commission.  The task for the Supra Commission was to study the existing 128 organisations (53 Commissions 41 Bureaus and 34 Regulatory Authorities), to review their performance and to suggest how many additional ABCs should be created to address the still unaddressed issues.

 

The Supra Commission was indeed the most important and most powerful commission that had ever been established. A presidential proclamation was issued for its creation.  The Vice Premier, a close relative of the Chief Premier was nominated to head the Supra Commission. 13 influential politicians and bureaucrats from every province and 23 from the federal government were chosen to be its members.  CC made sure that the trio that formed a part of his inner circle was also included in the panel. It was decided to designate a young, educated and accomplished officer as the Secretary of the Supra Commission. The job of the Secretary was to provide information, coordinate proceedings and publish the findings of the august body.  The matter was discussed with the CC, who happily proposed the name of Khurram Junejo for the Secretary’s post.  In a swift double-edged stroke, the Chief Commissioner had sidelined and gotten rid of Mr. Junejo for next many years.

 

 

Chapter 6.  A taxpayer-sponsored vacation

 

There was no looking back to the CC’s growing fame. However, there was also no looking forward the CC’s future. His 3-year term was coming to an end in the next few months. The thought of becoming an ordinary citizen was too unbearable and too distasteful.

 

The CC summoned his Senior Private Secretary, “As you are well aware that having set new benchmarks in efficiently handling a large volume of complaints, we would be failing in our duty if we do not record these achievements and preserve them for posterity.   So please hire some prominent consultants and influencers, give them complete access to information, photographs and activities of our Commission and task them to prepare a sleek, elegant and eye-catching report. Remember, funds are not an issue, and quality must not be compromised.  I would like to see the report on my table by the end of this month.”

 

CC recalled that Nuzhat had also mentioned about taking out a newspaper supplement on October 10, to coincide with the World Complaints Day. She had already visualised and designed the details of the entire 4-page World Complaints Day supplement. Front page would have a large, coloured photograph of the CC with the title ‘The Chief Complaints Commissioner’s message’. The second page would have graphs and data of the complaints resolved using the 18-hole golf techniques. The third page would feature a Botox-enhanced photograph of Nuzhat, accompanied by her article highlighting the significance of women’s participation, gender equality, and inclusiveness in the national complaint system.  The fourth page was to be reserved for advertisements, eagerly sought after by affluent individuals of dubious reputation, keen to polish their image and promote their businesses in one go.

 

CC rang the bell and recalled his Senior Private Secretary to brief him on the game-changing project of the World Complaints Day supplement. “Also please make sure that both the Annual Report and the World

 

 

Complaint Day supplement projects are carried out meticulously. You well know my policy of ‘zero tolerance for errors’.”

 

As expected, an eye-catching World Complaints Day supplement appeared in all national newspapers on 10th October and 800 copies of a breath-taking, glossy, coloured ‘Annual Performance Report’ were delivered to the CC’s Secretariat before the end of the month.  The taxpayers had to cough out Rs1,850,000 for this joyride of self-publicity and narcissism.  The annual report had the CC’s message, 24 coloured photographs of CC, 18 photographs of seminars and conferences, and 34 cuttings from different newspapers, eulogising the activities of the CC and the Commission.

 

It was decided to send a copy of the report to the President, the Chief Premier, all ministers and all parliamentarians. A copy of the report was also sent to the Chief Complaint Commissioners of many friendly countries.

 

The newspaper supplement and the annual report were most powerful and compelling. The government was in a state of panic at the prospect of losing the brightest star in its inventory.  An urgent meeting of the cabinet was hastily summoned to approve a five-year extension to the CC’s tenure.  Reclining back on his seat, the CC read the extension notification with a nonchalance, as if he had nothing to do with its authorship.

 

 

Chapter 7.  A dead man’s pension 

 

Elated by his growing reputation and assured of a taxpayer-sponsored luxurious holiday for the next 5 years, CC and Nuzhat were riding high on a wave of euphoria. At the CC’s official home, lavish parties became a routine affair – a revolving door for the city’s elite to wine, dine and consolidate ‘mutually beneficial’ ties.

 

It was on one of those evenings, just past midnight to be exact, with the CC having had one drink too many, when his cell phone rang.  His 17-year-old son Ahmed was online, his voice trembling with panic, urgency, fear and hysteria.

Ahmed: “Baba, it was not my fault.  He suddenly came on the road.  Believe me Baba, I was not driving fast.”

CC: “Ahmed, what are you saying, what happened, where are you? Are you safe?”

Ahmed: “Baba, I was driving your second Fortuner.  Akbar and Irfan were also with me. Suleman, my other friend was trying to overtake us in his Mercedes. I told him that a Merc was no match for a Fortuner, but he never agreed.  I was on my own side of the road when suddenly one person came on the road from nowhere and hit my vehicle.  I only remember a thud sound and the man being thrown away.  Baba, if I had stopped, a crowd would have gathered. Baba, so I drove faster and turned into a smaller street, so that no one could chase us. Baba, I am now at Akbar’s house, and I have parked the car in his garage.”

 

CC realised the gravity of the situation. His 17 years old son, who did not have a driving license and was driving an official car, had killed a person.

 

He slumped on the bed.

 

CC: “Ahmed, Stupid, I warned you so many times not to race with your worthless friends.  Send me your location PIN and I am coming straight away. Do not move from where you are.”

CC shouted at the waiter to call the driver.  As he was changing, he put the TV on.  There was breaking news on all channels.  “A government Fortuner with a green number plate, driving at high speed, killed a pedestrian and sped away from the scene of accident.  Witnesses reported that two luxury cars, driven by teenagers, were racing at dangerously high speeds.  Documents recovered from the deceased showed he was a schoolteacher from the village Bhara Kahu who had come to the town to lodge a complaint with the Complaints Commission about denial of his EOBI pension.”

 

The CC asked his senior Private secretary to directly reach the house where Ahmed had taken refuge. He then called up his contacts in the police, interior ministry and immigration. He pulled out 5000 dollars, that he kept for any emergency, collected Ahmed’s passport and reached the house where Ahmed was hiding. After giving him a piece of his mind, CC put Ahmed in his car and dropped him at the airport to catch the next flight to a Middle East country. The damaged car was quietly repaired at the taxpayers’ expense. The police registered an FIR against an unknown vehicle and the issues of the accident as well as the dead man’s pension were closed for ever.

 

 

 

Chapter 8.  Dysfunctional by design

 

January 2018

 

CC walked into the capital’s most prestigious 5-star Marina Hotel to attend the first meeting of the Supra Commission.  75 members (3 women and 72 men) were present in the well-decorated seminar room.  The Vice Premier made a passionate opening speech. “Honourable Ladies and Gentlemen. We are fortunate to have been chosen to review the existing 128 esteemed ABCs and to suggest formation of additional similar organisations for the glory and prosperity of our nation.   I am sure we all will put in our best efforts to achieve this uphill task in the true spirit of Islamic teachings”.

 

The written speech delivered with great fervour, clenching of fists, raising of fingers and thumping of rostrum went on for about 30 minutes. Many, in the audience, suffering from ADHD, began checking messages and viewing the much ‘Forwarded’ ‘Forwards’ on their mobile phones.

 

The first four days of the conference were completely consumed by intros and vague suggestions. The Marina Hotel had been booked for 5 days and some decisions however dubious had to be quickly arrived at. The time was running out and none seemed to have a clear idea of how to proceed. A well-known prominent politician raised his hand and sought permission to speak. “Mr. Chairman, I propose that our first step ought to be to establish a secretariat for the Supra Commission.  I therefore propose that we approve a working group of 34 staff members to be employed under the Secretary of the Commission. I also propose approval of one Toyota Fortuner and two Corolla 1798 cc to support the secretary and his staff, along with a yearly budget of Rs1.5 billion for smooth running of the secretariat.”

 

The proposal was warmly received and readily accepted without any reservations by all 75 members. The minor expenses of Rs 5.2 million for the hotel, travel and accommodation incurred during the last 5 days were signed off by the Chairperson.

 

No meeting of the Supra Commission could be held for next 9 months.  The staff began to proceed on long leave. Khurram Junejo spent time reading books on technology, governance and reforms.  He refused to use his official Toyota Fortuner and was happy driving his old Suzuki Mehran for coming and going to office. Suddenly a one liner response was received from the office of the Vice Premier.

“The Vice Premier’s schedule is booked for the next 6 months, and the next meeting of the Supra Commission could possibly be held sometimes in March 2019.

 

March 2019

 

58 members attended the second meeting of the Supra Commission – eight were out of the country, five were unwell and four had expired.  The Vice Premier offered prayers for the deceased and made yet another impassioned speech. Not many realised that this was the same speech that

he had delivered last year – suggesting an eco-friendly Secretary, who had learnt the art of recycling old speeches.  The Chairman opened the floor for discussion.  MPA Riaz Durrani stood up and said, “Sir, I want to congratulate everyone in this room for participating in this much needed reform initiative.  I propose that the number of Commissioners in each existing ABC may be increased from 3 to 6. This in my view would at least double their efficiency.”

 

There was a round of applause for Mr. Durrani’s ingenuity to come up with precise mathematical correlations.

 

MNA Khawaja Rahim, who was a family friend of CC, was the next to take the mike.  “Mr. Chairman, while I concur with the Honourable MPA, I believe that a system of rewards and incentives is a far more scientific way to improve efficiency.  So please consider my proposal to double the salary and perks of all Commissioners.”  There was a longer round of applause.

 

The Chairman put the two proposals for voting.

 

52 members voted in favour of the motions.  Six members abstained, later admitting they had no understanding of what they were voting on.

 

It was Barrister Kousar Khan’s turn to take the mike. “Mr. Chairman”, He said, “We are evaluating 128 ABCs, but why have the Council of Islamic Ideology, Ruet-e-Hilal Committee and the Federal Shariat Court not been included in this list.  I propose that they too be scrutinised for their need, utility and performance.  The motion was passed with 50 votes in favour and 8 members choosing to prefer diplomatic silence.”

 

Khurram Junejo walked up to the Chairman and respectfully whispered a few important points that needed to be addressed. The Chairman took notes and stood up to deliver his concluding remarks.

 

“Since the majority has voted in favour, our review mandate is now spread over 131 and not 128 organisations.  In our next meeting, we would like to move on to discussing more specific aspects of performance, such as human resource, budget, expenses, efficiency, value addition if any, cases resolved, and time taken to resolve these cases.  Kindly come prepared with this data.  I am simultaneously requesting the Secretary Supra Commission Mr. Khurram Junejo to formally seek this information under the ‘Right to Information’ Act from all 131 ABCs.”

The Chairperson signed off the expenses of Rs 4.8 million for the hotel, travel and accommodation, after his concluding remarks.

 

The number of participants kept falling with each successive meeting of the Supra Commission.  Each meeting was spaced roughly a year apart.  38 members participated in the 3rd meeting, 24 in the fourth and only 16 were present for the fifth meeting.  

The sixth and the last meeting held in June 2025 was attended by 4 members only. Copies of a detailed, accurate, and fact-based report, prepared by Khurram Junejo for all 131 ABCs was shared with all members.

Prompted by the Chairman, the Secretary read out the following key recommendations:

 

1. The number of Authorities, Bureaus and Commissions be reduced from 131 to 12.
2. The number of Commissioners in each ABC be reduced from three to one.
3. There ought to be no retired judge or government officer appointed to head these commissions. Instead, management and process experts be inducted to perform and improve these functions.
4. The Council of Islamic Ideology, the Ruet-e-Hilal Committee and the Federal Shariat Court be completely dissolved.
5. All government vehicles be withdrawn from all ABCs.
6. Allocation of vehicles to government officials at the taxpayers’ expense be declared illegal and discontinued across the whole country.
7. The number of employees in each ABC, currently an average of 280, be reduced to 18 employees, by removing superfluous, artificial and overlapping designations, such as Personal Secretary, Assistant Personal Secretary and Senior Personal Secretary – all doing identical jobs.
8. Each ABC on the average consumes Rs 1,245,000 of the taxpayers’ money each year on printing thousands of thick glossy reports for self-publicity and glorification. An analysis of 2024 annual reports showed an average of 18 photographs of the Commissioner, 15 photographs of seminars and conferences, and 34 cuttings from different newspapers. It is recommended to ban all government organisations from printing any such annual reports and instead digitise their systems and place a one-page fact-based annual report on their websites.
9. Finally, it is recommended that all posts of personal secretaries, data entry assistants, superintendents, Assistants, Steno typists, UDCs, LDCs, typists, telephone operators, record sorters, ‘Qasids’, ‘Naib Qasids’ and ‘Daftarys’ be abolished.  Every government

 

official must himself perform all these tasks, as is the practice in most developed countries. Those unable to fulfil these conditions must be eased out.

 

Despite the exceptional quality and originality of the reform-driven recommendations presented by the Secretary, they were too challenging for the members to either absorb or endorse. It disrupted their long-standing assumptions and entrenched practices.  As a unanimous decision on the excellent report could not be agreed upon, it was decided to pass on the baby to the Chief Premier.

 

The Chief Premier, equally competent at dodging difficult decisions, appointed a new Supra Commission of 156 members.  Khurram Junejo for his insight and progressive views was once again nominated as the Secretary of the new Commission. The Commission was tasked to submit its final report within 3 months – not questioning why the previous Commission had failed to do so in 5 years and 3 months.

 

Khurram Junejo had been flirting with the idea of either quitting in favour of a more meaningful occupation or giving one more shot to the possibility of his proposed reforms. Torn between the two, he opted to call it a day, wrote his letter of resignation, walked out of his office and drove away in his old Suzuki Mehran.

 

Chapter 9.   جو چڑھیا اس ڈھینا اوڑک،  جو جمیا اس مرناں

(Whoever rises must fall one day; whoever is born must die one day  ~ Mian Mohammad Bux)

 

CC’s son Ahmed, spoiled and pampered by parental wealth and neglect, was on an endless paid holiday – much like his dad. Two other spoiled brats, his accomplices in the Formula 1 Grand Prix of that fateful night, had also landed in the same country. The trio, well financed by shady parental doles were having a great party time. On the morning of 21^st July 2025, Ahmed was struck by a luxury vehicle, while trying to cross a road.   Witnesses reported a high-speed sports Lamborghini driven by a young local prince hitting a pedestrian and speeding away.

 

The accident was not covered by any newspaper or TV channel. It took two days before the tragic news got to CC, via a brief phone call from the embassy. The family was shattered beyond words.  Just when they thought that it was ‘all clear’ for Ahmed to return safely, they were receiving the dead body of their only son.

 

CC broke down. He shut himself in his room and went into a state of stupor. He had not just lost his son. He had lost his entire being. He felt it was a divine retribution for how he had spent his entire career – extracting and misusing the resources of the ordinary people. He felt painfully guilty of not having made an iota of value addition to any aspect of his job in all these years.

 

The next day’s newspaper headlines declared: “The country’s Chief Complaints Commissioner found dead in his room, an apparent suicide by overdose.”

 

A long, hollow chapter built on false glory and devoid of genuine compassion for the very people he was meant to serve – came to an abrupt and unceremonious end.

 

Epilogue

 

Khurram Junejo transitioned into politics and quickly rose to prominence. He was admired for his bold reform agenda, clear vision, and deep empathy for the common citizens. Exactly a decade after stepping down from his bureaucratic role, the dynamic and forward-thinking former civil servant was sworn in as the country’s Chief Premier.

 

He disbanded all 131 Commissions, Bureaus, and Authorities, and mandated a 50% reduction in the size of all government ministries and departments. The entire fleet of 150,000 government vehicles was recalled, and officials were instructed to arrange their own commute. To address inequality, the salary and pension ratios between the highest-ranking official and the lowest-paid worker were capped at 8:1.  The government underwent complete digitisation, consolidating departmental data into federated databases accessible through a single national e-services portal. Simultaneously, an ambitious programme targeting education, skills development, family planning, and entrepreneurial support was launched to lift 100 million citizens out of extreme poverty. Within three years, the nation had transformed beyond recognition.

 

Disclaimer:

This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any person, event, organization, document or place is purely unintended and coincidental.

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